Forty names, games, teams and minutiae making news in college football (discounted suspensions -- half off! -- sold separately at Florida [1]):

Urban The Ironfisted
Everyone who has seen the video of Gators linebacker Brandon "The Gouger" Spikes (2) going after the eyes of Georgia running back Washaun Ealey recognizes the truth. It was an appalling cheap shot, one of the worst things a football player can do to an opponent.


(Well, maybe not everyone would recognize it as such. If the guy in the replay booth at the Indiana-Iowa game (3) had watched the video, he would have given Spikes a sportsmanship award. And taken another Hoosiers touchdown off the board.)



Gators coach Urban Meyer (4) reviewed the video and used it as a teaching moment. The lesson Meyer delivered: Nothing, not even thuggish behavior, will be allowed to substantively interfere with our pursuit of a repeat national title. That was the unmistakable message sent by Meyer's semisuspension of Spikes, which will keep him off the field for roughly 30 first-half snaps against mighty Vanderbilt on Saturday.


Spikes' action reminded The Dash of a moment from the 2006 Colonial Athletic Association basketball tournament. Namely, when George Mason guard Tony Skinn groin-punched Hofstra's Loren Stokes.


Going after a guy's eyes is more serious because of the potential damage. But the two acts are similarly classless.


Eleventh-seeded George Mason bit the bullet, did the right thing and suspended Skinn for its first game of the NCAA tournament against No. 6 seed Michigan State. The Patriots wound up going to the Final Four.


Florida suspended Spikes for half a game against the worst team in the Southeastern Conference. In a word: weak.

Color Schemes And Dash Dreams
October apparently was Mess With Your Uniform Month, capped by a couple of truly frightful football Halloween looks. This progressively more common use of "alternate" unis could be termed the Oregonization (5) of college football, in honor of the now-weekly horrifica modeled by the Ducks.


Because it's impossible to keep track of Oregon's weekly crimes against fashion, we'll briefly review the recent jersey changes elsewhere:



North Carolina (6) went straight blueberry on Oct. 22 against Florida State with navy blue pants and jerseys. Dash reaction: Liked it. A lot. When you're as light on tradition as the Tar Heels, who are you going to offend by switching up the look?


Virginia Tech (7) tried the uni trick a week later against North Carolina, wearing orange-and-maroon jerseys with maroon pants. Dash reaction: Horrific. But when you're Virginia Tech and you're saddled with school colors that would look terrible on Dashette Sandra Bullock (8) -- starring in an upcoming football movie, by the way -- you do what you've got to do.


On Saturday against Florida, Georgia (9) wadded up more than a half century of silver-britches tradition and tossed them in favor of black pants. And black helmets. Dash reaction: Look like Grambling State, play like Grambling State. The Dash was told the helmets alone cost Georgia roughly $13,000 -- pocket change for one of the richest football programs in America but money the swim team probably could have put to good use.


And Saturday night, Tennessee (10) strutted some black jerseys with orange numbers against South Carolina. Dash reaction: Not quite as hideous as anticipated, but not exactly a look that evokes memories of Gen. Neyland, Johnny Majors, Reggie White and Peyton Manning. If the decidedly nontraditional Lane Kiffin thinks it would help him sign a recruit, the Volunteers would come running out through a cursive "T" before their next home game.



The primary reason for alternate uniforms is for merchandising and licensing revenue, of course. But that hasn't always been the case. Once, it helped win a national title.


Thirty-two years ago, before jerseys were sold by the hundreds of thousands, Notre Dame (11) went with a motivational switcheroo. Coach Dan Devine -- not exactly a cavalier guy -- surprised his players with green jerseys just minutes before the Fighting Irish played USC in South Bend.


Sufficiently stoked, a Notre Dame team that had underachieved through the first half of that season demolished the Trojans 49-19 and dominated from then on. Wearing the green the rest of the season at home, the Irish won their final seven games by an average margin of 34 points and captured the national title after mauling No. 1 Texas 38-10 in the Cotton Bowl. Since then, Notre Dame occasionally has rocked the green.


Generally speaking, the more tradition a school has, the less likely it is to change its look. But after watching tradition-laden programs such as Georgia and Tennessee go with the alt-uniform gimmick, it got The Dash to thinking: Which programs absolutely will not go there?


The No Way in Hell list:


Air Force (12). The Falcons might have bucked military tradition by joining a conference, but they haven't messed with their look. They've worn white helmets with a blue lightning bolt since their inception in 1959, and the rest of the uniform has rarely deviated from the same general appearance. (Certainly Air Force would never repeat the mesmerizingly ugly camouflage helmet gimmick that Army tried against Navy in 2008.)



Nebraska (13). Rather stunningly, the Cornhuskers went with red jerseys and red pants in the 1980s against Oklahoma on Tom Osborne's watch. And they occasionally have worn white-on-white on the road. But the Blackshirts will never wear black shirts in a real game or deviate from the red "N" on the white helmet.


Oklahoma (14). The Sooners have worn throwback uniforms before, but it's hard to imagine anyone in Norman signing off on, say, an all-crimson outfit.


USC (15). Pete Carroll's edginess ends when it gets to uniforms. USC likes its cardinal jerseys and gold pants, and that isn't changing. One program insider said that when the subject was broached a few years ago about a onetime black uniform gig, it was shot down instantly.


Texas (16). White pants, burnt orange jerseys and a Longhorns logo on a white helmet. Don't expect to see any deviation any time soon.


Alabama (17). Could you see the Crimson Tide in black jerseys, black helmets or black pants? Bear Bryant would return from the afterlife to kick some serious tail.


Michigan (18). How tradition-bound are the Wolverines? When there was a rumor earlier this year that they might wear white pants (instead of the usual maize) at Iowa, it became something of a cause célèbre. (The rumor wound up being bogus.) Besides, the last thing Rich Rodriguez needs is...